Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
PANTIES FOUND
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