4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
