I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
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