we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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