let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize