So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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