Cold hands, warm shart.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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