I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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