I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You made out with two different species that night
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
It was a blind-side dick pic.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
