Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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