Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
