I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
