We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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