great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
