She said her name was "party"
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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