on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
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