Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Randomize
