Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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