the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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