At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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