it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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