yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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