EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
honey bunches of taint.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
