I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
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He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
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