I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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