oh god the rape fog is back!
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Drake has all the answers
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
