It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
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nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
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Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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