I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
