Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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