It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
