I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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