Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
