i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
