She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
