I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
