I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I don't think brook has ever known best
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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