Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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