Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
We named our party play list daddy issues
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
