shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize
