I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
