I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
