Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize