I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
