is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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