I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
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I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
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If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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