quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
