I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
are you so shy because you have an std?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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