I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
