there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize