I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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