thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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