I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
