Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
