My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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