I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
