never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
try to milk me bitch
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
