you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
