Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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