i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He told me they were just razor bumps!
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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