I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize