I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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