my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Randomize