Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Randomize
