Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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