Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
