i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
