I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize