I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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