i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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