I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
