I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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