whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
