Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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