i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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